Meth Murder & Amazon (A Humorous Real Life Nightmare)

                                                       DISCLAIMER
 
All the meth'ed up events, misery, miscalculations, accusations, and characters included in these misadventures are completely factual and based in reality.
 
The names, businesses, places, and locations listed in this book have been changed for witness protection purposes and are the byproduct of the author's imagination.
 
Releasing the true identities and locations could prove catastrophic, leading to irreparable damage; worst of all...death.

An urban legend is born when the body of an unidentified child is found under the bed during an open house. Alive or dead? Murder or myth?

Derald Grake destroys his life the moment he decides to sell the family home. After capturing the American dream, this father of 4 hopes to solve the complex formula of buying low and selling high. Witness one ‘normal’ family embark on a hilarious and entirely unexpected journey involving, among other surprises, assassins, meth, murder, and the end of Amazon.

Wrapped inside this intriguing mystery are eye witness accounts and compelling evidence to separate truth from fantasy. Follow the clues, sort through the lies, and put the pieces together of this twisted reality.

From award winning author and visionary creator G. S. Gerry comes the critically acclaimed debut Meth Murder & Amazon.

A humorous, suspense filled roller coaster that goes downhill as quickly as a methamphetamine rush. This plot twisting symphony of laughter, absurdity, & betrayal will leave you speechless. Wondering how far one father will go to rescue his family from the unthinkable.

Author G. S. Gerry presents a witty, gripping read that will keep you guessing and pulls you to the edge of your seat until the very end. Quirky and utterly unique, Buying and Selling will never be the same again!

Fans of Hunter S. Thompson (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) and Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Stranger than Fiction) won't be able to put down this adrenaline-charged thrill ride

"Wholly original and darkly humorous...An Experience Unlike Anything Imaginable...Reminiscent of Robin Williamson speed ...completely off the wall and guaranteed to make you laugh out loud" - BookViral Reviews

"Part satire, part dark comedy, Meth, Murder, & Amazon is a wild rollercoaster of a ride from start to finish...the unique satirical style and quirky characters quickly hook you in and keep your eyes glued to the pages until the very end. - If you want to read something hilarious that happens to be a true story, check out Meth, Murder, & Amazon."  - Pikasho Deka, Readers' Favorite

"It all goes downhill as quickly as a methamphetamine rush. It's brutal. Nothing seems to come easily for the family and they are struck by calamity after calamity...This book is good for a laugh if that is what you are in the mood for, and good for a laugh if you're a grumpy old cow and are not in the mood for one also."  -Jamie Michele, Readers' Favorite

"The comical way Meth, Murder and Amazon was written is so unique and thrilling yet very much relatable...There is absolutely no way one can read this book without literally laughing their heads off.
Aside its entertaining value, Meth, Murder & Amazon offers vital life lessons—it's a must read!" — Mary Jane Anderson, ILoveUniqueBooks.com 

"Written in an extremely unique style. With absurd character names and place names, weird little rhymes, and unusual descriptors. I've never read a book quite like this before...But I liked it. How could I not like it?... If you're willing to take a chance on something different, then you will enjoy Meth Murder and Amazon."  - Tess Quinn, Reedsy: Discovery 

G.S. Gerry brings to life the ultimate lemons to lemonade story.
A world where the unbelievable seems made up and yet, oddly relatable. 

Bridging meth'ed up designs, illustrations, and other outlandish creations with a shockingly unbelievable true tale of meth-ic proportions. Guaranteed to make you laugh and leave you thinking...WTF!  

Meth Murder & Aamazon is an experience unlike anything imaginable.

Quit Meth'in Around!
 
From the maker of meth to the bringer of death,
Mr. Grake cooks up the formula for ultimate success.
It might leave you strangled, gasping for breath.
It may feel like falling, a nightmare of unrest.
 
Gripping and grasping at the fabric of space.
Frantically clutching, flaining, in the greatest of haste.
Unsuccessfully hoping for something to brace.
 
The sudden impact, the impending doom,
Mr. Grake...WHAT DID YOU DO?!
 
It starts with an attempt at selling The Grake's home,
It turns into betrayal from the snobbiest gnome.
 
An interview from a Barron won't end their plight,
The Stoopidity has no end in sight.
 
The misadventrues and tragic tales,
Morph together as the 'methacoaster' goes off the rails...
 
Into the abyss?
Don't be remiss,
Meth Murder & Amazon...you don't want to miss.

G. S. Gerry is a dedicated family man,  Navy veteran, and writer from humble beginnings in St. Petersburg, FL.  Married for 17 years, at the sound age of 18, and father to 4 kids (16/14/11/8).  Just your average, everyday Joe Schmuckatelli with some wild stories to tell.
 
As is the G. S. Gerry tradition, everything in his life seems to happen in the most non-traditional ways.
He experienced 16 & pregnant before it became popular. Overcoming obstacle after calamity after hilarious situation in his short time on the earth.  
 
There's an old saying "plant a tree, have a child, and write a book." G. S. Gerry's debut novel Meth Murder & Amazon checks one off the list, with an unforgettable comedic journey of a lifetime.  But, he is taking recommendations on trees to plant.