When Your Man Is on the Spectrum

There are many qualities associated with autism that are appealing to a prospective partner. In the early stages of the relationship, the negative characteristics of autism may be suppressed such that the neurotypical partner is not fully aware of the depth and consequences on the relationship of autism, anticipating a conventional and fulfilling relationship. When autism is recognised or disclosed, there may be the assumption that love will provide the mutual understanding and accommodations within the relationship. However, the couple may find that the relationship is not developing as they originally anticipated and a significant problem for the neurotypical partner is a sense of loneliness and lack of knowledge of how autism affects a relationship. Pnina's book is based on a thorough review of the research literature and her own research on over 400 women in a relationship with a man who either has a formal diagnosis of autism or has autistic characteristics. This book will provide validation, connection and knowledge that will strengthen the relationship.

Professor Tony Attwood

Dr. Pnina Arad wrote a very unique book and with great brevity deals with a topic that very few are willing to address. Based on a large- scale study, she was able to bring out amazingly the experience of women who live with a partner on the autism spectrum. The willingness of these women to share such emotional and private experiences suggests a great need to find an outlet to their powerful stories. I trust that many other women will be able to identify with those experiences and develop a new understanding of their own relationships. The enthusiastic response of these women to the questions posted to them also points to their need for more understanding and support.  Professor Zipora Shechtman

Dr. Arad's book serves as a useful resource for women who struggle with extreme difficulties in their intimate relationships, as well as for experts in the field of autism and the many professionals who encounter individuals and couples in their moments of distress and do their best to help, very often without recognizing that undiagnosed high-functioning autism lies in the background of the relationships.The book concentrates on the mental and physical well-being of neurotypical (NT) women in relationships with men who have autistic traits. It serves as a successful attempt to voice these magnificent women who volunteered to participate in Dr. Arad's doctoral research and were willing to open their hearts and describe their most private experiences within their romantic relationships. They openly shared with her their feelings of frustration, confusion, and search for answers. Some were in desperate need of confirmation that they are sane while others were just exhausted from their ongoing struggle with difficulties and obstacles they confront in their relationships. Sadly, many of them suffer from depression and are thus treated with medication. The author examines the presence of depression, anxiety, and signs of trauma in women who are in relationships with men on the autism spectrum. Behind the enormous difficulties with which some couples or wives cope, there hides an undiagnosed neurobiological disorder of the husband, high-functioning autism, that negatively affects the couple's dynamics, as well as the physical and mental well-being of these women, and systematically sabotages the therapeutic process when they reach out for professional help.This book serves as a voice to these women in couple relationships with men who are apparently on the autism spectrum, and yet, most likely, have never been diagnosed. I cannot imagine how challenging it is to tackle this sensitive issue and become the voice of so many women who are faced with the hardships such relationships bring about. Yet Dr. Arad successfully manages to bring their story which has never before been dealt with so openly and without being judgmental towards them.    I assume this book might be met with resistance by some and slapped with a "controversial" label, by those who have not encountered such relationships from personal experience. Yet it is a must read for women who seek therapy while feeling trapped in such a relationship, marriage counselors, and therapists in general. Sari Shpergel-Bakish

Could your partner be on the autism spectrum?

Many women cope with indescribable hardship, communication lapses and severe emotional deprivation in their romantic relationships, without even suspecting that their partner might be on the autism spectrum. Others realize this was the issue all along only after years of living with self-doubt, confusion, and the feeling of having lost their sanity.

In this book you will discover:

• Why most adults with high-functioning autism are not diagnosed.
• How autistic traits are expressed in a romantic relationship while going unnoticed by others outside of it.
• What experiences women in neurodiverse relationships share in common.

Drawing on her extensive doctoral research, the existent body of literature and her professional experience as a couple counselor and coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships, Dr. Pnina Arad invites you to join her on a startling and enlightening journey that will open your eyes and provide new perspectives on the familiar life stories of friends, relatives and patients. Some may even echo your own personal story.

This book brings together for the first time, the most comprehensive current empirical data and clinical knowledge, while telling the stories of women throughout the most significant stages of their lives. The information is presented in a simple and clear language, accessible to anyone who wants to know, understand and overcome the puzzling challenges of neurodiversity in romantic relationships.

Dr. Pnina Arad is the founder of 'LeadUp', a qualified couple counselor, group facilitator and women's empowerment life coach, specializing in neurodiverse relationships. She has helped hundreds of women and couples in Israel and around the world to surmount their challenges and change their lives.