Dialectics

Dialectics refers to a philosophy that recognizes the tensions and conflicts that happen within us, between us, and in the world at large. In dialectics, we seek to synthesize and resolve these opposite tensions to achieve more balance in thought and behavior.

To use a straightforward example, many of us view situations as cut and dried, or black and white. However, life is typically more complicated than the all-or-nothing dichotomies we get caught in. Using dialectics, we see the relative truth on both sides and the resulting synthesis moves us away from the extremes of black and white into shades of gray. We then discover the middle ground and/or what we previously missed in our thinking, in our behavior, and in how we relate to others. This discovery leads us to more effective behavior.

Cognitive Modification

Many of us have been told that it is “all in our heads” or that there is something wrong or inaccurate with our thoughts and beliefs. These viewpoints invalidate our experience. The effect is that we learn not to trust ourselves, and we become defensive and guarded about our thoughts and beliefs. We then feel vulnerable when asked to evaluate them. That sense of vulnerability and defensive stance serve to protect us from further invalidation.

Dialectically, our thoughts and beliefs come from somewhere, and they make sense given the context of that place. Most of the time, our thoughts and beliefs have or have had adaptive functions, and there is a least some kernel of truth to them.

Problem Solving

Problems of various types and levels of difficulty frequent our lives. If we do not actively work to solve our problems, they grow in number and size, and we end up chronically overwhelmed or even paralyzed by them.

Unfortunately, many of us do not have a method for solving problems. We try to solve them by trial and error or in a haphazard manner. These approaches sometimes work but tend to be ineffective overall.

Problem-solving starts with being aware of problems as they come up and developing a willingness to address them effectively.

Addictions

Addiction happens when a person compulsively engages in a behavior despite its harmful consequences. Signs of addiction include a preoccupation with the behavior along with a lack of control over it, despite significant negative consequences. Addictive behaviors are typically characterized by immediate gratification or reward followed by delayed costs and harm.

Stopping an addictive behavior is difficult, and it often requires the help of a professional and/or a strong and positive support system. Giving up the immediate rewards, facing up to withdrawal and other consequences, and reaching out to others is hard.

Building a Satifying Life

Every life is worth living, but many of us find our lives unsatisfying, unenjoyable, or even miserable at times. Life is more satisfying when we develop routines that include predictable and enjoyable relaxation and fun balanced with responsibilities.

Routines do not need to be complicated. In fact, most of us benefit from mindful simplicity in life. Mindful simplicity means connecting to and experiencing the routines that define and structure our days.

Social Media

Technology-based communication and social media have become an inevitable and almost unavoidable part of interpersonal communication and relationships. Emails, texting, Facebook, Twitter, and the myriad other formats in which people communicate are here to stay and will likely only grow in popularity. Like any tool, these forms of communication are neither good nor bad in and of themselves, but their use (or misuse) has the ability to either add to or detract from relationships.