Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren But Not Ashamed

"Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility by Frances Jones is a self-help memoir. The author sets out with a message for the world to those who are unable to conceive: you are not alone. Jones begins with her journey and the loneliness she encountered, particularly those around her who filled their hearts and homes with the very thing she could not have. The book is then sectioned into twenty distinct and interconnected chapters, covering a wide range of topics from the expectations of families and the bride herself, discovery, diagnosis, treatments, and loss, to emotional pain, adoption, acceptance, and the purest forms of love. "I operated as though I was broken, unworthy, and blemished."

Frances Jones does a wonderful job of creating an engaging and compassionate guide in Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility. I connected on a level that is only possible when another shares their experiences with profound honesty, which is exactly what Jones accomplished. Fear and pain are acknowledged. So are grief and the hope that springs to life only to be taken away a few days later. The writing style is more like a friend encouraging you over coffee ... and Jones opens up with relatable moments, like "bringing flowers to the grave of an empty womb." This is an insightful, well-written book that is a comfort for those who need it most. Very highly recommended."
-- Jamie Michele for Readers' Favorite

★★★★★

"Given the current state of societies worldwide, is it any wonder that bookshelves are bulging with self-help books? With so many problems and disappointments in our everyday lives, it's just about near impossible to stay positive. Now, toss into the mix the issues faced by couples who are trying unsuccessfully to conceive. You see the need for yet one more self-help book. Frances Jones has written it: Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility. Infertility is a stigma? Well, that's just one of the ways Frances Jones saw it as she and her loving husband, Chris, struggled to conceive for several years. She saw her sisters, friends, and neighbors giving birth not once but several times. Yet, despite medical help, Frances remained barren. As hope gave way to depression and self-recriminations, which Frances bravely hid behind a happy mask, she eventually embraced the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer, accepting that she would never know the unequivocal feeling of life growing inside her. But with that acceptance, with the understanding that one doesn't have to be a mother to be a complete woman, she took control of her negative thoughts and stopped them from controlling her.

It is how to regain that control that Frances shares, along with some marvelous insights and encouragement. I found myself constantly highlighting sentences, sometimes entire paragraphs, as I read each concise chapter. Though at 75, I'm not having fertility issues, some important people in my life are. For their sakes, I didn't want to forget essential words like these: "A family is more than just DNA. Love has to be at the root of everything." Truer words were never spoken, even if the battle one is facing isn't even infertility. So much of what Jones writes in Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility could apply to both men and women in all walks of life who are desperate to feel better about themselves and their lives. This is a wonderful and unique self-help book, written from the heart and from first-hand experience. The style is straightforward, personal, and easy to read. Jones has a way with words that I really enjoyed and has written an excellent and necessary self-help memoir. Between the occasional touch of humor, stacks of information, questions, affirmations, and suggestions for charts and journaling, and the warm memories of her upbringing to her present-day situation. Bravo!"
-- Viga Boland for Readers' Favorite

★★★★★



"Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren But Not Ashamed by Frances Jones is a candid, hope-filled book that provides insight into infertility. Jones grew up in a large, loving family with siblings she could play with. As her wedding approached, she could not wait to add to her new family and give her stepdaughter siblings she could play with. In 1993, at the age of twenty-seven, she began experiencing pelvic pain. In 1999, she was diagnosed with endometriosis. In Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility, Jones shares her emotional journey through the diagnosis, fertility treatments, and the adoption process. She shares the emotional, physical, and financial strain she went through together with her family as they also navigated other aspects, including parenting.

Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility shows the raw side of dealing with infertility, including the fear, doubt, desperation, internal and external accusations, and the attempt to mask it all. It goes on to show how these patterns can be broken and how anyone experiencing the struggles associated with infertility can live a happy, fulfilled life. Jones shares how she was able to rediscover her true self and explains how infertility does not have to define a person: that anyone who has received a similar diagnosis can still enjoy happiness and peace. In the book, useful questions for self-reflection and learning are included at the end of certain chapters and Biblical verses and quotes from various famous people are added at the start of each chapter. They add more insight and they introduce the chapters' contents. Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility by Frances Jones is a profound memoir with helpful advice for navigating infertility."
-- Edith Wairimu for Readers' Favorite

★★★★★

"Life isn't always fair. Sometimes when you want something so badly, it goes in the wrong direction, and the failure to achieve it consumes you so much that it overtakes everything. That's what happened to Frances Jones, author of the inspirational book Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren But Not Ashamed. It is a concise but detailed memoir about dealing with infertility and emerging triumphant in the end. It is a twenty-year journey not only for Jones but also for the people who love her dearly. From her early beginnings as a young girl growing up in a big family that inspired her to have children of her own to discovering the significant factor in her inability to conceive, she finds acceptance of her own feelings and compassion not only for herself but for her husband as they experience this life challenge together.

Frances Jones's keen sense of anatomy is medically exact and empathetic without begging for sympathy. She is intensely wrapped up in the drama of her personal ordeal but doesn't fail to appreciate what she has. Any couple attempting to conceive can understand and identify with the deep biological issues and the childhood influences that drive Jones. She writes about a world that presents family values, fertility treatments, disappointments, and social stigmas. Her style is astute, and you can feel her shared love and support with the people who care for her. Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility succeeds as a portrait of that distressing emotion common to those who cannot procreate. But Jones is a fighter, and her book is something that readers should consider because it is not often that you read inspirational memoirs that genuinely create a significant impact."
--Vincent Dublado for Readers' Favorite

★★★★★


"Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility - Barren But Not Ashamed is a work of non-fiction in the self-help genre. It is aimed at adult readers and was penned by Frances Jones. The book describes the emotional journey that comes with infertility of any sort. Feelings of guilt or inadequacy, feelings of failure or being lesser than others, all of these feelings and more are addressed in this book in an empathetic approach to discussing the mental and emotional toll of struggling to conceive. Based on the author's own experiences, the book aims to guide and inspire others who are struggling with their feelings and self-perception in the wake of fertility struggles.

This is a powerful book not only for the highly emotive and stigmatized subject matter that it discusses but for the deeply personal experiences and insights that the author shares throughout. Using her own experience of infertility to support the reader in their emotional journey, Frances Jones creates a unique connection between herself and her readers. As infertility is a situation that people struggle to open up about, this book is an essential resource for providing the insightful and considered support that is sorely needed. Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility is a book that knows it has its work cut out for it in a world surrounded by imagery and narratives that link producing children to being happy, successful, and valid. Someone who cannot have their own children can easily slide down a rabbit hole of depression and low self-worth. This book rises to the challenge, however, and is a must for couples struggling with infertility as well as professionals who support them."
-- K.C. Finn for Readers' Favorite

★★★★★

"Frances Jones's book, Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren but Not Ashamed, is a blessing to women who are struggling with infertility. The book details her personal experience with infertility; her faith, marriage, and journey of discovery; and how she overcame the emotional stigmas of infertility. After reading the book, I was amazed by how many life experiences we share. Frances not only encourages me as a woman with infertility, but she also encourages my faith. Her book provides emotional coping mechanisms, strategies, and steps on how to break free from tormenting thoughts, and teaches how to get your power back. It is a must-read for anyone who has experienced infertility. Make it part of your reference library."--Shervonne Coney, Founder of Black Women and Infertility

★★★★★

"Infertility impacts one in eight couples, yet many suffer alone and in silence. Thank you, Frances Jones, for sharing your story to help increase awareness and shatter the stigmas that surround this issue. Your personal journey through physical and emotional struggles on your way to finding peace again is inspirational. Many will find comfort in this book."
--Lora Shahine, MD, FACOG, Director of Patient Experience and Outreach, Pacific NW Fertility, Clinical Assistant Professor University of Washington, and author of the best-selling Not Broken: An Approachable Guide to Miscarriage and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

★★★★★



"Frances Jones's book, Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren but Not Ashamed, describes perfectly the ongoing struggles facing those of us saddled with this traumatic, often isolating diagnosis. Though the physical pains and hassles are many, it is the emotional toil that incessantly sticks with patients. After miscarriages and multiple rounds of IVF, I have been blessed with three beautiful babies, but as I read through Frances's story, I was immediately transported back to those dark, emotional days of desperation. I admire her strength and determination as she pulled herself out of that darkness and chose to light the way with hope for others traveling this uncertain path."
--Danette Kubanda, Emmy Winning Television Producer, Publicity Consultant, Media Coach, Writer

★★★★★

"Frances Jones has a heart of pure gold. In her book, Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren but Not Ashamed, Frances Jones openly shares her innermost thoughts, raw emotion, and how she overcame feelings of inadequacy, shame, and rejection brought on by infertility. In a world where many hide behind the mask of a smile, Frances boldly shares her testimony in the hope of comforting and equipping women with transformative tools to overcome, just as she did. If you have been suffering in silence, Frances' book will give you the keys you need by faith to regain your power and your purpose."
--Min. Nakita Davis, CEO and Founder of @jesuscoffeeandprayer

★★★★★

"Frances Jones's book, Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren but Not Ashamed, is a must-read. Her life-changing story takes the reader on an empowering journey through her personal battle with infertility and the negative emotions she encountered along the way, and gives the reader renewed hope, faith, and self-worth. Anyone wanting to be free from the negative emotions and stigmas associated with infertility needs to read it and keep it in their reference library."--Mollie Walker, Co-Founder of Tennessee Fertility Advocates

★★★★★

"Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren but Not Ashamed is a must-read for anyone who has experienced infertility. By writing her story in an authentic and personal way, Frances Jones pulls open the curtain of the negative and self-destructive thoughts and feelings that often come with infertility but are rarely spoken. She will empower you to take charge of your internal dialogue, walking you toward emotional freedom from the scars borne from infertility. I will be adding this book to my recommended reading list for my Trying to Conceive (TTC) tribe."
--Kara Edwards, Founder, Starfish Infertility Foundation

★★★★★

"It is not easy to share intimate details of one's life, especially the stories that affect us deeply, but that is exactly what Frances Jones has done. As I read her story about her infertility journey, her words struck my heart deeply. I felt her sadness, bitterness, and negative energy. As you read Overcoming the Emotional Stigmas of Infertility: Barren but Not Ashamed, you will learn of the emotions that Frances experienced, her response to her dashed dreams and desires, and how she healed herself. I had no idea that my own thoughts toward baby showers and the negativity I had toward pregnant women were affecting me so much. As I read her advice and how she feels now, my heart began to soften. I knew that I wasn't alone and that someone else had been on the same journey. Her "Questions to Ponder" and the exercises she provides to gain peace showed how she healed her heart, and helped me to do the same."
--Laura Coleman, Accredited Financial Counselor and Adoption Money Coach

★★★★★


Booklife review OESI

Jones's relatable and straightforward memoir-with-purpose details her faith-grounded, emotional transformation: after years of secretly harboring grief, embarrassment, and self-judgement because she was unable to conceive, she arrived at a newfound perspective of value from an unexpected life path. Jones describes the emotional trials of navigating the roles of step and adoptive parent while feeling the absence of a biological child, as well as the financial stress that came with pursuing fertilisation treatments. Jones's advice leans on developing a "right mindset," encouraging readers to reframe negative self-defining beliefs, and let go of the idea that having children makes a "real woman."


Jones favors plain, accessible language, and she keeps her self-reflection in the realm of common-sense, approachable thinking without diving into psychological theory. This, together with her stated identity as an African American woman from a large family of sharecroppers, means her story will connect with an audience that understands the desire to appear strong while managing internal pain—readers who may not find appeal in expert-centered approaches that presume whiteness as a default. Jones's honesty about the emotional conflicts that arose through her step parenting experience is particularly touching. Basic exercises at the end of the book offer less guidance than readers may need in order to use them effectively, but the frankness with which Jones shares her own struggles makes her ultimate recommendation of a count-your-blessings approach to life sound intentional.

Jones's placement of blame on her own negative thinking about her endometriosis as a primary cause for her infertility is a hard sell in the context of self-care or causality, and she walks an awkward line in touting the power of positive thinking and faith while simultaneously categorizing that her thought-induced trauma as irreversible. Readers looking for hard data on the prevalence of infertility—or hearing about new technology—will miss this in Jones's strictly personal approach, but those who appreciate authenticity will applaud her bravery in telling the story.
 
Takeaway: This true-life story will make readers facing infertility feel heard and understood.

Discover the Powerful Story of One Woman's Triumph Over Infertility!

Are you struggling with infertility and feeling defeated, unworthy, and tormented by negative thoughts and emotions?
Frances Jones knows firsthand the emotional toll that infertility can take and is here to help. As a devoted believer, successful career woman, and loving wife, she too suffered in silence from this taboo topic, feeling like damaged goods and unable to break the cycle of negativity. But then, a miracle happened - an awakening that led her to regain control over her life and self-esteem. Now, she wants to share the tools and techniques that helped her experience victory, freedom, and peace.

Frances' story is a must-read whether you're struggling with infertility or simply looking for guidance to navigate life's unexpected obstacles. Let her guide you on your unique journey and show you how to live an abundant life purposefully. Her book can help you transform defeat into triumph and turn feelings of unworthiness into confidence.

Don't wait any longer to take control of your life and find peace amid infertility. Order your copy of Frances Jones' book today!

Frances Jones holds master's degrees from the University of Mississippi in accounting and educational leadership. She is a certified professional coach, Energy Leadership Index master practitioner, and the founder of Heart Desires Fulfillment Coaching, LLC. She specializes in infertility coaching and has more than twenty years of personal infertility experience. She uses her story and the empowering lessons she learned to inspire, motivate, encourage, and help others who are dealing with negative emotions and stigmas associated with fertility challenges. Frances lives in Memphis, Tennessee, with her family.