When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment

A practical, compassionate relationship guide for women who are involved with mother-enmeshed men, mothers who wish to set their sons free, and men dealing with issues of commitment, sex addiction, and unhealthy attachments.

Why can't he commit? Many women find themselves asking this question when in love with a man who won't get married, won't stop womanizing, or refuses to give up his sex addictions. Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including:

—Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men
—Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage
—Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children

Psychologist Adams and scientist/writer Morgan revisit territory covered in Adams' first book, Silently Seduced: parents and children becoming too close. Here they focus on "men who have excessive emotional ties to their mothers. They feel trapped, guilty, and disloyal when attempting to follow their own wishes and lead their own lives." Half of the chapters are dedicated to case histories from Adams' psychological practice, outlining seven species of mother-enmeshed men (MEM): commitment-phobe, womanizer, perpetual adolescent, burned-out caretaker, cybersex addict, disappointed hero and lost man. These are followed by a questionnaire designed to determine if the reader is an MEM, and a chapter on seeking therapy. The final third of the book is dedicated to advice: for MEM to improve their interpersonal relationships, for women romantically involved with MEM, and for parents who want to avoid raising MEM. Authors Adams and Morgan offer a logical and practical survey of the Oedipus complex in the modern world.
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"Dr. Ken Adams has done it again. This book on mother-son enmeshment explains not only this too little understood developmental block, but points the way to liberation. The absence of psychobabble makes it clear reading both for victims and their clinicians." -- John Franklin, Ph.D., Distinguished Professor of Counseling and Addiction Studies, University of Detroit Mercy

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"An engaging, clear, and extremely useful examination of this most common of family problems....’ÄâI do a lot of couples therapy in my practice, and this is one of the most common unhealthy dynamics I see. This book will be enormously helpful." -- John C. Friel, Ph.D., author of Adult Children

"It is a compelling, insightful, and helpful guide out of the sexual and romantic labyrinths families weave." -- Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., author of Out of the Shadows

Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and internationally recognized expert in treating trauma-induced intimacy disorders. Dr. Adams is the author of Silently Seduced. He lives with his family in Rochester Hills, Michigan. To learn more about Dr. Adams, please visit www.whenhesmarriedtomom.com.

Alexander P. Morgan is a writer specializing in technical subjects. A National
Science Foundation Fellow and winner of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers' Melville Medal, he lives with his family in Birmingham, Michigan.