Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

From the Book

Mindfulness and DBT in general help people with BPD stay off the emotional roller coaster associated with black-and-white thinking. Over time, people who regularly practice mindfulness tend to be better at enduring pain, solving problems, and not creating turmoil and stress in their lives and relationships. Notice, though, that the goal of mindfulness isn’t to experience profound happiness or a life without stress or trouble.

We all have the capacity to be mindful. It’s a skill anyone can learn. There’s nothing mysterious about it. We simply pay attention to the present moment. When mental clutter appears, we let it appear and let it fade away again. Over and over, we return to the here and now.

This isn’t usually as easy as it sounds, especially as we’re first learning it. But everyone gets better at it with practice. In the process, we also learn a lot about ourselves, others, and our relationships. Practicing mindfulness can help you achieve a better balance between your rational mind and your emotional mind. This puts you in a better position to respond wisely to distressing situations, in a balanced, healthy manner.

You’ll also make better decisions, improve your relationships, and optimize your potential for physical and mental relaxation.